this is no ordinary love
by darkangelpeyton1
Summary: [If you haven't watched the mid-season finale then don't read this fic because you will be spoiled.] Daryl was hurting, plain and simple and it didn't help that his mind was full of memories of his time with Beth.


**IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SEASON 5 MID-SEASON FINALE, DO NOT READ THIS FIC BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SPOILED.  
>So, this is my first Walking Dead fic and I'm really nervous. This is me kind expressing all the angst and sadness, I'm feeling over Beth's death. I just can't believe that they would kill Beth. At first I wasn't a big fan of her character, but through season 3 to now I've grown to love her character, so them killing her devastated me. It also hurt since I've become such a huge Bethyl shipper and seeing Daryl's face killed me as well as seeing Maggie's reaction, god, it was horrible. So, yeah...<br>Song used for the title of the fic is "No Ordinary Love" by You + Me  
>I apologize for any and all grammatical errors or mistakes in characterization. <strong>

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the storyline.**

"Let him go," Carol ordered. Rick turned to look at her before looking back at Daryl's retreating figure.

"Are you sure?" Rick asked concerned. Daryl had told Rick a little bit about his time with Beth and Rick knew how much Daryl had come to care for Beth. He was afraid of what frame of mind Daryl might be in after Beth's death.

"Yeah," Carol replied, "He just needs some time to himself. He won't go far and when he's ready, he'll come back." Rick was still hesitant, but nodded his head as he grabbed a shovel and started helping Abraham dig a hole.

**OoOoOo**

Daryl wondered around for what felt like hours, but he knew it was most likely only minutes. He felt like someone had reached in and ripped his heart out. He hadn't felt this level of pain since Merle died. He could still see the blood and hear the gunshot. He clenched his eyes shut trying to erase the image from his brain. He didn't want to remember her like that. He wanted to remember her smile, he laugh, how hopeful and pure she was. That was the Beth he wanted to remember. Daryl sighed as he sat down on the ground. He couldn't believe that this had happened. How could Beth be dead? How could the kindest, sweetest person that Daryl had ever met be gone? Daryl clenched his eyes shut again when a flash of her death popped into his head. _Think of something else_, he begged wanting to think of something, anything else.

"_I don't cry anymore, Daryl."_

Daryl sighed as the memory popped into his head. He remembered that day. He had been surprised when Beth had been so calm and accepting when he had told her about Zach. He felt a smile tug at his lips as he remembered her hugging him. He had been so taken aback and had felt so awkward, but had returned the hug. Daryl remembered how he had felt something stir in him when she hugged him and how he had pushed it away because he couldn't think of Beth that way. Now, he wished he had told that part of himself to go to hell.

"_I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl."_

Daryl felt his heart clench. He felt ashamed because she had been right. He had thought of Beth that way. When he had first met her at the farm and when she had tried to kill herself all he could think was she was a fragile, little thing that wouldn't make it in this world. Then the prison had been attacked and they ended up together. It was because of the separation from the rest of the group that Daryl had gotten to know the real Beth, the Beth that didn't take any of his shit and called him out on it. The Beth that wanted to learn how to shoot his crossbow and how to track. The strong Beth Greene that believed in good and had hope, but wasn't naïve and knew the harsh truth of the world around her.

"_And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."_

Daryl had changed so much since he met Rick and the rest of the group. He had opened up and let people in, but after Sophia, he didn't want to get close to anyone because he didn't want to feel that pain, but he couldn't stop himself from growing close to these people. He couldn't stop himself from caring about Beth and letting her in.

"_I'll be gone someday."_

The night she had said that Daryl had startled. They had just lost Hershel, and the thought of losing her had upset him more than he thought it would. He didn't want her to think like that. He didn't like to hear Beth talk about her demise. Daryl growled when the memory of the Beth being shot flashed through his mind again. _Damn it_, he thought angrily.

"_You're gonna be the last man standing."_

He had hated when she told him that. Daryl didn't want to think about him possibly losing all these people that he had come to love and being all alone. For the longest time all he had was Merle and then Merle left him. Then he found a new family that didn't make him feel like a piece of crap, and he was losing them, and that hurt more than he'd ever admit. He didn't want to be the last man standing. In Daryl's mind that was the worst possible fate for him.

"_I'm getting good at this. Pretty soon I won't need you at all."_

He chuckled at that memory. The girl had guessed right on what they were tracking and she thought she was all that. Daryl remembered that at the time he had rolled his eyes at her words and had thought that she better not get cocky because that could get her killed. Daryl sighed at that thought. He had been shocked when Beth had asked him to teach her how to track and use his crossbow. He had no problem teaching her to track since he thought it was a useful skill and she should know how to track, but her using his crossbow? That took some time to convince him, but in the end he was glad he had agreed because it had been fun, well, up until she stepped in that bear trap, but that was beside the point.

"_There's still good people, Daryl."_

"I don't think the good ones survive," Daryl repeated the words he had told her when she had said that. There were not any good people left in this world. This world was full of nothing, but cruel, evil people. The only good ones were either already dead or still alive and in his group, a part of his new family. This cruel world had taken one of the best from his family, from him and it made him so angry. He couldn't understand how she had always been so positive and hopeful. It didn't make sense and he really couldn't see the positive in her death or any hope left in the world since she died. She was the positivity, and the hope, and now she was gone.

"_It's beautiful. Whoever did this cared, they wanted these people to get a funeral. They remembered these things were people, before all this. They didn't let it change them in the end. Don't you think that's beautiful?"_

He remembered feeling slightly amazed by how she viewed the dead bodies at that funeral home. He had told her how he felt about it. He saw it as just someone playing dress up with dead bodies, but Beth seeing it as beautiful had surprised him. He didn't see it as beautiful. He had seen it as odd, but hearing Beth talk about how beautiful she thought it was had touched Daryl and he could admit that at that moment he had found her beautiful.

"_I thought my singing annoyed you."_

Her singing never annoyed him. He had just said that because he was drunk, angry, and wanted to hurt her. The two times at the prison he had heard her sing, he had found her voice calming. He had felt relaxed, well as relaxed as you could be when you're constantly on guard. Daryl remembered how he had laid in that coffin just listening to her play the piano and singing. He could still hear her voice clear in his head and his heart hurt again at the thought of never hearing her sing again.

"_So, you do think there are still good people around. What changed your mind?"_

She had and she knew it. He remembered seeing the recognition in her eyes when she had said, "Oh." Daryl could clearly remember how he had wanted to kiss her. There was just something about that moment, the way they were looking at each other, that just screamed for him to kiss her, but he hadn't. He regretted that now. He regretted a lot of stuff when it concerned the short time he had with Beth. Most of all, was that he hadn't realized how he felt about her sooner, so that they could have been together, even if it was for a little while.

"_I'm not gonna leave you!"_

But she had. When she had hollered that at him it had been when they were running from the walkers that had invaded the funeral home. That was the first time he had lost her, the first time she left him. He had lost her twice and she had left him twice, but both times it wasn't her fault. It had been because of other people that she had left him the first time and for the last time.

"_You're going to miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon."_

She was right, he would miss her. He would miss her smile, her laugh, her singing, how hopeful she always was, but most of all he was just going to miss_her_. Being around her and the way she made him feel. During that short time when it was just the two of them she had made him feel hope and feel like he was something better than a piece of shit redneck. Daryl had felt loved by her and had loved her. He had fallen in love with Beth Greene and he'd never be able to tell her.

**OoOoO**

Daryl looked up and saw that he was back at the church where they had buried Beth. The group had decided that Beth should be properly buried in a cemetery, so they had come back to the church to bury her in the cemetery nearby. He could see the cross, made of two big pieces of wood that Daryl had assumed they got from the church, sticking out of the ground. He slowly made his way over to it and squatted down before it. He felt his eyes start to mist as he read the words carved into the wood.

**In Loving Memory  
>Beth Greene<br>Beloved Sister and Friend  
>We love and miss you<strong>

Daryl felt the tears come more quickly as he sat down on the ground. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed. He sobbed because her life was cut too short and she was taken from them in such a horrible way. Nobody deserved to die like that, especially Beth.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I should have tried harder to find you. I should've protected you and I failed. I let you down and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Daryl stayed there for what felt like hours just sobbing. He hated this. He hated that she wasn't in the church at this very moment laughing and celebrating her safe return with her sister and everyone else. He hated that he hadn't grabbed her when she had went to hug Noah. That he hadn't pulled her back when she went to stand in front of Dawn. He just hated that he hadn't done anything to save her.

"Daryl," Daryl looked up with a start and was surprised to see Maggie standing before him.

"What's up?" he mumbled trying to hide his tears.

"It's not your fault," Maggie whispered which made Daryl look up at her surprised.

"What?"

"I heard you," she explained, "It's not your fault. It's none of your guys fault. The only person to blame is the bitch that shot her." Maggie tried to keep it together, but felt herself breaking again. Daryl stood and walked over to her. Maggie collapsed into Daryl and he just stood there holding her as she cried.

"I blame myself," Daryl admitted.

"I know," Maggie replied after she had calmed herself down enough to speak, "But we both know Beth wouldn't want that. She'd tell you that it's not your fault and you can't blame yourself." Daryl nodded knowing that Maggie was right. He could even hear Beth's voice clearly in his head saying those very words.

"You loved her," Maggie stated. Daryl looked at her not sure how to reply.

"Yeah," he mumbled after a few minutes.

"I'm glad," Maggie muttered as she hugged Daryl once more, "We should head inside before they send out a search party."

"I'll be in a minute," Daryl told her, "I'm not done..."

"Saying goodbye," Maggie finished his sentence. Daryl nodded his head.

"I hate saying goodbye," Maggie whimpered before wiping her eyes and heading back towards the church. Daryl watched as Maggie made her way to the church before looking back down at the grave.

"_I'm glad I didn't say goodbye. I hate goodbyes."_

Daryl hated them, too, but this goodbye was the worst of them all.

**So, that was it. I hope you guys enjoyed it even though it was pretty sad. I'm going to miss Emily being on the show and if any of you watched The Talking Dead, she about broke my heart. Well, like I said I hope you guys enjoy this and please leave me a review with your thoughts. **  
><strong>~Brittany~<strong>


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